Star Wars Weekly News|11/25 – 12/2

LuketheNerd has volunteered to put together a list of Star Wars related news and happenings from the last week. Let’s welcome him and his first post!


A roundup of news for the week of November 25 to December 2nd.


      So “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” will be 2 and a half hours, doesn’t that seem fun? Apparently Mark Hamill does! Well, he actually said this. “The good news is I’ve seen it, and it’s like ‘The Godfather.’ It doesn’t feel that long,”  Also, in a recent interview with Rolling Stone, Daisy Ridley accidentally perfectly explained Star Wars. “It’s somewhat a reflection of society, but also it is escapism, because there are creatures and there are people running around with fucking lasers and shit. So, I think, a wonderful mix of both.”

Also, when asked about if she was going to be playing Rey after “Star Wars Episode 9: People Running Around with Fucking Lasers and Shit” and she said this. “No. [I’m going to do Episode 9 because it’s in my contract, but] I think it will feel like the right time to round it out.”

[On if she will return in the far future.] If in 30 years we are not living underground in a series of interconnected cells, then sure. Maybe. But again, it’s like, who knows. Because the thing I thought was so amazing, was people really wanted it. And it was done by people who really love it.”

“How old will I be? 55. Fuck, I can’t think that far ahead.”


Nothing but respect for my queen and savior, Daisy Ridley.

Speaking of dumb fucking bullshit, Rian Johnson revealed on Jimmy Kimmel that the first word of TLJ is “We’re”.


Also, Adam Driver recently “revealed” to Empire magazine that the title “The Force Awakens” doesn’t just refer to the light side, but ALSO… the daaarrrkkk siiiidddeeeee……..

“We find Darth Vader already completely committed; I was curious about starting with someone who was less together, who was starting in a place of self-doubt. The title of The Force Awakens wasn’t just referring to the light side, it was the dark side as well.”

So Battlefront II came out, and that’s pretty cool. I guess… For those who have played the single player game, it’s pretty hard to believe that you could put the controller down! But for us fuckers who like playing with other people, we get wayyyyy too much controversy. Now here’s why I’m mad, not because of the micro-transactions, but because of the reasons they said they did it.

APPARENTLY… its because of Star Wars canon.

Blake Jorgensen, a person with a job, spoke at a thing and said this:

“The one thing we’re very focused on and they’re extremely focused on is not violating the canon of Star Wars. It’s an amazing brand that’s been built over many, many years. So if you did a bunch of cosmetic things, you might start to violate the canon. Darth Vader in white probably doesn’t make sense, versus in black. Not to mention you probably don’t want Darth Vader in pink. No offense to pink, but I don’t think that’s right in the canon.”

Ok, first of all, yes we do. Second of all, who cares about canon? Us, of course, but this video game isn’t about canon. This is about having fun, playing a good game with a good plot with preferably good character design.

So that’s the news for the past 7 days! Now I’m going to do the thing that I have been doing in the years that this website has been running, let’s… GUESS THE NEWS!!!!!

  • “Solo: A Star Wars Story” to be renamed to “The Han Solo Movie” because that’s what we’re calling it anyways.
  • Battlefront II will have new skin packs that have Ryan… AND DORKMAN!
  • Disneyland will burn “Pirates of the Caribbean” and replace it with “Chewie and the Porgs”.
  • An official Press Release on the Padme novel will be released, and it will be announced that it is written by Stephen King and Google Translate.

I’ve been LukeTheNerd and that’s all folks!

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